I’m going to start by talking about Kesha. I have a couple visions of Kesha in my head. Not visions, but images from things I’ve seen of her, and I have held on to her words. I do not tend to be musically uplifted by her. I remember trying to keep Zoe from LOVING that song she wrote a while back where she wakes up in the bathtub, brushes her teeth with “a bottle of Jack”. That’s what led me to stay away.
But I’ve watched her weight go up and down, her behavior become erratic and then her truth comes out - her producer raped her and Sony wouldn’t let her out of a contract with HIM. Her struggle was public and so many celebrities, like Taylor Swift, sent her hundreds of thousands of dollars to fight Dr. Luke, her producer. To help her. So many were women musicians and wonder what they knew, what THEY experienced. Strong females like P!NK were stepping up, and calling Sony’s treatment of her - pure shit.
Then I saw an image of Conan O’Brien just holding her on a Venice Beach boardwalk. I listened to him talk about that picture and he said he was just minding his own business and he walked by her. He could see the struggle in her. She was losing in court. She looked destroyed. He held her. HE hugged her. What a beautiful man.
I remember an audience giving her a standing ovation as she announced the next winner at some show.
And then I see her in an interview talking about “infamous Jerry Seinfeld” hug incident. I did not know of any incident. In true, sexually abused, fashion - she very graciously swallows her pride and says some people just aren’t huggers. She is kind.
And then I watch Seinfeld. The incident. And THEN I watch him talk to someone who has interviewed him for like 20 years, and they appear like “men” laughing it up about the incident. “I don’t know her…” “You don’t start with a hug…” But then he says, what I feel is at the bottom of it, “Plus, I was in the middle of an interview and it was a little ‘off’. Basically, he wasn’t down with her being besotted with him and losing her cool and interrupting an in interview. He was super celebrity. He was putting her in her place, kind of making fun. That's what I felt and I am sure many disagree.
Have you ever had someone deny you of a hug. It is their right, but it's a little 'ouchie' without millions watching. I don’t make my children hug or kiss anyone, not even me. Hence, when AJ asked me to go down an aisle in Target where no one was, and he kissed me, on his own, for the first time last week because I got I'm something he wanted SO much - I was floored.
That said, that is a huge hugging industry and she meant well. She’s also been through hell, and his arrogance, to someone as fragile as her at this time, can lead her to believe she’s still dirty. That is what you are forever trying to scrub off when you are sexually abused. Your dirt. YOUR shame. I felt really disappointed that Seinfeld didn’t do it and then went on air with one of his bros and mocked her. Oh, and he hugged HIM to show her - it was more like HER that he didn’t want a hug from. He tried to say it was nothing personal, but it wreaks of arrogance when he talks about it and laughs with this anchor..
But Kesha really tried to be graceful and said it was okay. And then something super, fucking amazing crazy happens. She walks back stage, somewhat defeated, and Bob Dylan - the reason why she started writing music - comes up to her and gives her the most brilliant hug!!! Dylan is sneaky, elusive, you never know when he’s lying or messing with your head. He’s elusive to say the least, esp. with fame…and DYLAN COMES IN, divine timing, and HUGS her. For a long freaking time!! And Kesha, was okay.
Bob Dylan, I would never go in for the hug with - he just isn’t the type of man. But maybe he knew what she’s been going through. Maybe he liked her music. Maybe he had seen what happened. It didn’t matter. Boy Dylan for the win. And he is so much more iconic and amazing then Seinfeld.
All of this lead me to listen to her latest song, praying. Can’t lie. I love it. We have all been hurt by people, but can you pray for them?I pray for enemies a lot. I’m okay.When I wasn’t, it felt impossible to pray for them. People will do something wrong, cross a line, invade your body and then get sneaky about how they handle things. They will put THEIR shame on YOU. Convincing you that you are dumb, dirty, unworthy, untalented… in many ways jealousy kicks in to play too.
But all of this, and homegirl is praying for Dr. Luke, according to the song. Amen. That is a sign she truly is healing. The hardest thing I have ever had to do to get right in my religion, is love and pray for my enemies. I do now. Mostly because I don’t feel them anymore. I have distanced myself so much - it doesn’t rip me open like it used to do. I wonder how much that is because of prayer. Praying for them and me, at the same time. For softened hearts, changed hearts. It’s a catch 22 really. I don’t know where it starts…but I’m fairly certain, for me, it started with praying. As Kesha, has begun again…by singing about doing the same thing as me. Pray for them always.
Bob Dylan - I fucking love you.
Listen to her new song here. It’s nothing like her old stuff (from what I know, which isn't much) and has a soulful feeling to it. I also had to include a beautiful cover by Kesha and Ben Folds of a Dylan song. It's beautiful. And for what it is worth, I am sending Kesha so much love and light and one fuck of a bear HUG, I’d hug you anytime.
