Someone asked me the other day what I found absolutely revolting and a turn-off/deal-breaker in a romantic companion. At first I laughed and didn't consider CONSIDERING it. BUT, it crept in.
Then I realized, I liked the question-no LOVED it! I loved the question because it wasn’t about multiple sclerosis! Hallelujah!
I walk around all day aware of my body and how it’s a total stranger. On any given day I just don't know what to expect or fathom how I might embarrass myself. It's par for the MS course. I’m constantly getting sick, getting better, getting sick, there we go…I’m better.
I also write about it all the time, for a living. SO, I LOOVE the sexually revolting question- the “I will not get naked with you for ANYTHING if…” question. It's not about MS, finally! However, I am realizing that my answer is attached to my MS. Daggit!
Oh, real quick. I’m married.
But still, I would never ever get naked with someone who is pompous, thinking they are strong when they are in fact weak. I LOVE it when people openly talk about their weaknesses. That’s sexy and human to me. But I have people in my life (because they have to be) who walk around, talking about people, how they say THEY would do things, when I know quite well from working with them, that they can’t push through…when they are tired, or hungry or whatever. It's incredibly unappealing. Blech.
Someone sleeps with them? Eww.
Maybe MS has made me a snob, but I push through a lot and I am always tired. Everyone, if they are living correctly, is always TIRED! If you’re not, go to bed and watch a movie and don’t come out for 80 years. You are missing everything anyway. And those who are forced to miss so much, the ones who would die to be you, because they are sick and immobile, you are INSULTING them. Blech.
Most of us, MS or not, don’t have the LUXURY of taking 5 hour naps (college doesn't count), still complain they are tired, miss deadlines, are more-often-than-not are late, and not even have kids or illness or some VALID reason to blame it on. Tired isn't an excuse. Love isn't an excuse either. So poor work ethic/full of excuses peeps I find incredibly unsexy and couldn’t be romantically attached to someone like that.
I'm not 19 anymore. Growing up taught me I always want to be with people who inspire me to be better, stronger, wiser. Typically that takes on a platonic tune, but it pertains to NAKED as well.
I am weak in many ways, compromised by my MS. But I have a strong-ass work ethic and my husband's is even more kick-arse. I get the job done and I don’t make excuses. I see what he does for me, our family, when I can't carry my end, he carries both, takes care of two kids, makes lunches, gets them ready, brings to school and he still manages to get a promotion at work. Does homework, shovels, fixes a car, wallpapers a room, sends me flowers, encourages my writing, sacrifices for my writing.
Homeboy is tired.
I watched him walk the dog in the worst winter weather, about ZERO degrees, it was night time, he was exhausted. Our dog is bigger than me and it was bad outside in the snow. He just does it, knows I can't and could get hurt. I could see him from the window. He's eyelids heavy. That's love and that's work ethic. I don't know that you can have love for someone and not have a decent work ethic. Love is work.
So my husband is the root of the answer. I can't stand people who make excuses and have poor work ethics. Well, I CAN stand them, but I would never BE with them. Whenever I hear an excuse at work or wherever, I instantly think of my husband.
You think you're tired? You should hear what my husband does every single day of his life and then come back to me with a different excuse.
He is the standard. No one has even come close. I suppose that is why we still enjoying getting naked with each other. So poor work ethic/excuses is my final answer! Feel free to share yours!
