I'm thinking without pain...

I’m thinking without pain, none of this would be possible. My wildest words, null and void. I’m thinking without pain how taut my skin would be, stretched and see-through, veined.

Indentations of my insides flashing, rising like my mother’s blood pressure. And Sandy’s tides. A throb. A clue. Something is amiss. But it’s ok my dear, for it ties me to you.

Take your tender hands, push all the way through. It is a curse, perhaps a blessing, depending what side you loiter on. Whatever the case, it is mine, and ours, to view. Was always meant to be. It is how we show, or bellies grow. I will disrobe and undress for you, let you trace the scars. Because something in me always knew that these ribbons weren't just mine, but rather, ours.

These bridges of scars; they are one body written in the stars.

You, coursing through these veins. My seemingly red blood, pumping through. I used to think without pain I could somehow be better present. I could clap and stand ovations. Oh dear Lord, the things I would do. Now I see, how incredibly untrue. I know now without pain, there'd be no you in me. There’d be no me in you.