There’s an ancient Chinese secret - a parable of sorts. Wait, it may not be specifically Chinese. It’s an Asian parable of sorts, but I don’t know where exactly it originated from because someone told me and, like I’m always reminding people, I have multiple sclerosis brain, I can’t remember details - new details fall out of my head. You can’t even touch my head because it’s sensitive to the touch. Maybe that is why details can’t penetrate and stay? They get away. As long as I don’t forget my past, my lessons, my precious memories, I tell myself I’m okay with that.
But, I’m 42. The one problem with that is if I’m to live - I must keep collecting lessons and memories (not to be confused with lesions). I shall worry about that later. Right NOW, I am grateful I have this gist - the theme:
I know nothing of martial arts, so I apologize if I’m confusing ninjas with other martial artists titles. This may be the the weakest of paraphrases, but with one of the best themes. It REALLY helped me. So bare with me. It will lead you to Drake. My favorite Drake song. Yes, Drake is after Elle King, who is after Dylan, after New Order, Josh Ritter always comes first on my iPhone. I like what I like. If it connects to my heart - If it jolts me into living a bit more heated. Makes my bonking body feel a bit more alive. I sing. I dance. I live. Hence I listen - to Drake and stories like these. Here goes:
There was a mighty ninja warrior sensei dude that lived hundreds of years ago in the Orient. How’s that for vague? One day while teaching his students, there was one mean student that kept calling him names, trolling him, throwing shade. It was to the point where the others finally stopped their training and walked out because they couldn’t watch their teacher be disrespected. That, in itself, would be disrespect.
But one boy came back after leaving and asked, “Teacher, why did you let that boy say all those terrible things about you? Why didn’t you fight back?”
The teacher smiled lovingly and asked a few questions of his own. The teacher put his hand on the bold student's shoulder and asked,
“Tell me, when someone reaches out to give you a gift, and you take that gift, who owns it? Who feels the weight and really owns it and has to carry it home?”
The student was confused for a second and then said, “Whoever takes the gift and holds it, owns it.” He thought surely he got this answer wrong.
The teacher’s eyes smiles and said, “That, my son, is why I would not acknowledge his hate. Then I would be the owner of such a terrible ‘gift’. Such hate and untruths are not mine to own. To respond would be to accept what he was giving and carry it with me for life, inside.”
The student bowed, eyes smiling back, and left…changed.
End of my weak paraphrase. This is why there are so many things in my life, lies from family told to other family members that I choose to never acknowledge. I will not touch them with a stick. I’d rather walk away and pray for the liars who are left, weighed down, carrying such dreadful things. I pray for those whose lives are so small, the only “truth” they get is from that one person who lies. I say that with love in my heart. Love is so much lighter.
THIS is why I’m with Lucie… I can’t get enough of this Drake song. Don’t touch hate and lies with a stick. There is one person who is a poison and I will not correct or negate or speak my truth. Many ask why I won’t “stick up” for myself. To respond to such ridiculousness is to take on the hate. That’s not a gift I’m willing to take on because it’s a pretty shitty gift. If someone knows me, they should know better than to believe. I have such faith in these people, I have seen them as patriarchs and healers and peacekeepers - so I feel disappointed. I will not reply. I pray for them all and walk away lightly, with the love I created on my own, listening to this song.