This is something I wrote about my questioning the killing of civilians in Gaza. It is not popular sometimes to speak what your conscience begs of you. BUT, Jesus was not popular either, and I am a Christian (not Evangelical and not Catholic). I feel in my heart what He wants me to do-beg for a cease-fire, pray, and help in any way I can to promote mediation and discussion. Love my neighbor.
He wants me to act, in some small way, to stop the killing on all sides. I'm Pro-Peace, regardless of what people will say. It is my prayer that American leaders will intervene and mediate to promote PEACE for all sides. I'm reading a temporary cease-fire has been agreed upon. I am praying this is true.
The sky. I can see it. At least some partial view. From the sofa, on a grey Saturday morning. Texture is different. From a Sunday afternoon. In “free” America.
The curtains he left me. After his passing. Hint of moths, sheer and floral. Gold and green. And yet I can see. Sky.
Why is my sky so different from yours? Your ceiling, my floor? I don’t know anymore, I cannot tell. Gasps. Try to inhale. Only shrapnel. Wait-am I ceiling or floor?
This silence bids my will. And my legs rendered still. Took years for me to learn. Silence doesn’t suit me well. You fucking anti-Semite. That is what they say. Zionist, for asking a simple question. About my brother in harm’s way. Please just tell me, are they safe today? Cease-fire. Cease-fire. Cease-fire. I pray.
Policy. It is policy. Don’t you dare ask a question is the policy. You’re bound to be bound and dragged away. No longer permitted to stay, in “free” anything. I will walk a few thousand years in a desert. Then rest some… but only to raise my hand and ask another question.
A million steps later. One more question if you will. Why can’t I ask you a question and love you both…still? Why can’t I love you both? Why can’t I believe that is my Father’s will, even in free America? Why can’t I protect you both? Someone is always whispering,
Yes ma’am, but who do you love the most? Be honest…Who do you love The Most?
I love my Father and I believe it is His will. To love thy neighbor and never kill. I love my Father so I sit beside you BOTH and beg you to be still. I cannot be silent. I must move. I must sit by my friend and let the bombs fall. On a sunny afternoon. In “free” America. I cannot be still.
I cannot smile while she cries. I cannot live while he dies. I will not skip and hide. I cannot hide. I cannot hide in “free” America.
Not while babies die. Mothers cry, watching. Brothers and fathers remain tied. To be cut lose, to die. I cannot watch. My conscious won’t let me hide. In “free” America.
I hold the microphone and sit beside you. And I have never felt so free. Since 2009, trapped in my body. But this time, this time. I let my conscience speak…for peace. Part of my body, was set free. Peace.
I cannot kill
I cannot hide
I must speak
And sit beside you…still.
She dropped the phone. And he’s smoking incessantly. No route, no visa to Cairo. The only way. Why do they treat him this way? You cannot go says one. The other…BUT it is illegal to stay.
And all because of your name. I cannot watch my sky be still. While yours births pain. Suffering. I will speak for peace. In my Father’s name. No more war in His name.
I beg, no more. It is not His will. As long as your sky rains such pain. I will NOT be still. I love you all. But I can’t love you all and be still…in “free” America.